Finding a preacher who can sweat

An older pastor retired and moved back to his home in rural Mississippi. A few days later, his phone rang. Below is a verbatim transcript of the phone conversation:

"You got a King James Bible?" the person asked.

"Yep."

"Can you sweat?"

"Yep."

"Got a handkerchief to wipe the sweat?"

"Yep."

"Then I know a church looking for a preacher."

Apparently, those were the qualifications for a preacher-- a King James Bible and the ability to sweat when preaching.

The apostle Paul added some other qualifications. According to the King James Version, he said, "For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach the gospel: not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of none effect. For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God. But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumbling block, and unto the Greeks foolishness; But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God. (1 Corinthians 1:17-18, 23-24, KJV)

So if you're looking for a preacher, find one that preaches the cross of Jesus Christ. And if he can work up a sweat about it, that's an added bonus.

Copyright 2009 by Bob Rogers.

Oops! Did our chuch sign really say that?

One Sunday night a church member eagerly showed me a photograph he had taken on his digital camera of our church sign. I read it and said, "So? It says 'Celebrate Christmas with us.'"

He replied, "No, it doesn't. Read it again."

That's when I noticed the "R" missing from "Celebrate."

I just stared at the photo. "Does it still say that?"

"No, we already corrected it. But I'm thinking about moving my membership," he said with a smirk.

Well, he's still a member, at least for now, but that little error is a reminder that we have to watch out that we don't communicate the wrong message. Especially at Christmas.

People often talk about "the real meaning of Christmas" and then go off on subjects like "spending time with family." Now, I plan to spend time with family myself at Christmas, but that's not the real meaning of Christmas. The real meaning is that God looked down at a messed-up world, and decided to get personally involved with us human beings. He didn't just send down commands to follow. He sent a Person to follow. He didn't just tell us how to live. He showed us how to live. He did it through a baby, Jesus Christ, who went from the cradle to the cross so that we could go from the grave to heaven when we die.

That's reason to celebrate (with an "R").

Don't Let Worries Kill You

Sometimes churches say things that fail to communicate what they mean.
A friend sent me a photograph of a church sign that had on its marquee, "Don't Let Worries Kill You-- Let the Church Help."
When I was in college, my pastor was telling a story during his sermon about his visit to the Hoover Dam. As he described his visit, he said, "I looked over the whole dam project." Nobody said a word, but when he realized how that sounded, his face turned red, and he immediately said, "I mean, the whole project of the dam." When he corrected himself, the congregation burst out laughing.
Once when I was pastor in a different place and different time zone, I was going over the church bulletin. I noticed that the secretary had typed the title of a hymn that looked strange. I showed the bulletin to the music minister, and he said that he had not connected the lines of his "K" and the secretary mistook his handwriting for the letters "IC." That explained why the bulletin said that we were going to sing, "Come Thou, Almighty Icing." (Maybe the secretary heard there was going to be dinner on the grounds with cake after church.)
One Sunday years ago, I was about to preach, when a deacon offered this prayer, "Lord, help us make it through Brother Bob's sermon." I don't know if he had stolen a look at my sermon notes and decided it was going to be a tough one to survive, but he told me later that his prayer came out wrong.
All of this confusing communication serves to illustrate an important way that you can pray for those who preach the gospel. In Colossians 4:4, the apostle Paul makes this request: "Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should."
The plain gospel is that we are all sinners, in need of a Savior, but Jesus died on the cross to pay for our sin, and the only way we can get to heaven is by faith in Jesus Christ. Unfortunately, churches can sometimes get that message garbled. They may say there are many different ways to heaven. But Jesus said, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6, NIV). They make salvation a matter of good deeds rather than faith alone. Yet the Bible says, "For it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith-- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9, NIV).
So the next time you pray for your pastor's sermon, add a request that he makes the gospel crystal clear. I promise, it will help you make it through his message.

(Copyright 2007 by Bob Rogers.)