Snakes in a casket

You've heard of the movie, Snakes on a Plane. In Appalachia, some people put snakes in a casket.

Once I talked about this with a pastor who is from the Appalachian region of Virginia.

"We've got snake handlers up where I'm from," he said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yep, we've lost two preachers to snake-bites."

If you're not familiar with "snake handlers," they are Christians who interpret Mark 16:17-18 to mean that they should show their faith by handling venomous snakes in their worship services. Often accompanied by loud, rhythmic music, they have been known to put rattlesnakes and copperheads on their heads, wrap them around their necks, tread on them with bare feet, or toss them to other worshipers, to see who has the Holy Ghost.

The pastor from Virginia proceeded to tell me that one funeral director in his area went to conduct a funeral at a church, and the members told him he needed to get up from his seat, because the box of snakes was under his pew. At that moment the funeral director realized he was in a "snake handling" church. I don't think it took him long to move out of their way.

The church member reached into the box, grabbed a snake to hand to another fellow, and then grabbed a second one for himself. He told the funeral director that he was going to put one of the snakes in the casket with the deceased. The funeral director said, "Then you be sure that you close the casket yourself."

This story reminds me of an experience that Jesus had with the devil. Satan was tempting Jesus to perform a great miracle to show off his faith, by jumping off the pinnacle of the temple. Satan even quoted scripture to justify this act, saying Psalm 91 promised that the angels would catch him before he hit the ground. Jesus' reply was to quote Deuteronomy 6:16, saying, "It is also written: Do not test the Lord your God." (Matthew 4:7)

It's not our place to tell God how to work. It's our job to listen to God tell us how to work. So if somebody tells you to prove your faith with some daring action, or if they tell you to test God's will by telling God what hoops to jump through and telling God what deadline he has to do it, remember the snake handlers. If you're going to test God like that, then be sure that you close your casket yourself.

Copyright 2010 by Bob Rogers.

The Methodist who tried to be a Baptist

A Methodist pastor in Dalton, Georgia, asked a Baptist pastor if he could borrow his baptistry for a baptism by immersion. While Methodists commonly baptize by sprinkling, they also may immerse, and this Methodist pastor had a couple who had trusted Christ and wanted to go all the way under.
The Baptist pastor kindly agreed, and prepared his baptistry for the Methodists to use. He went back to check on things after they had used it, and he noticed water had splashed all over the place, in the changing area and even into the choir loft. So he asked the Methodist preacher, "What happened?"
His Methodist brother said, "Well, it was the first time I had done an immersion, and when I got in there to baptize the lady, I couldn't figure out where to grab her to put her under. I didn't want to touch her in an inappropriate place, so I grabbed her by the neck. She resisted, splashing water, but I got her under, and then I lost her in the water, and had to dive in to pull her up. In the process, water filled up my waders, so I had to climb out of the waders and leave them in the bottom of the baptismal pool, and I had to climb out dripping wet. I left the waders in the baptismal pool, so you can get them out when you want them. I'm not going back in there."
If you are wondering what great spiritual truth could possibly come out of that experience, here it is: you can't please everybody, so do your best to be who God made you, and don't worry about it. Whether you're a preacher or a parishioner, you don't need to try to be something you're not. God made you with your unique spiritual gifts. "A spiritual gift is given to each of us as a means of helping the entire church" (1 Corinthians 12:7, NLT). Find out what those are, and be your best at being you. If you're a Methodist, be the best Methodist you can be. If you're a Baptist, be the best Baptist you can be. Most importantly, be the best Christian you can be. And if somebody doesn't like who you are, that's their problem. Just don't grab them around the neck.
Copyright 2010 by Bob Rogers.