tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430Sun, 20 Dec 2009 05:18:39 +0000True humorous stories from church life.http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/brotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)Blogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-5403353600249727624Tue, 10 Nov 2009 12:59:00 +00002009-11-10T05:01:28.568-08:00liquorpurposedevilincarnationChristmas Not only am I a preacher, but I'm a PK-- preacher's kid. My father was a pastor before me. Once when I was a teenager, we were moving out of the pastorium, and mom ran out of packing boxes. She asked me to go to the grocery store and see if I could get some more boxes. When I arrived at the grocery store, the manager informed me that they had just disposed of most of their boxes. Not wantinghttp://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2009/11/preachers-kid-and-liquor-boxes.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-2124707897310802391Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:50:00 +00002009-11-02T13:51:13.168-08:00introductionintroductionsrelationshipsrelationship Introductions can make a huge first impression, either for good or bad. A man ran into the associate pastor of his church at a restaurant in Savannah, Georgia. He introduced his associate pastor to some friends, and afterwards his wife told him, "Do you realize what you just said? You introduced him as our 'Socio-Pastor.'" While some introductions may hurt, other introductions that seem to http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2009/11/introductions-can-make-huge-first.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-8798067993027441000Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:23:00 +00002009-09-23T07:25:35.985-07:00salvationbanknameWhen I went off to seminary, I moved from Woodville, Mississippi, to New Orleans, Louisiana. It was only a few hours’ drive, but the two cultures were light-years apart. I had been serving Woodville Baptist Church as their youth minister. Woodville was, and still is, a small county-seat town located south of Natchez in the extreme southwest corner of the state. Woodville’s claim to fame http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2009/09/taking-it-to-bank.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-1921440847034769104Mon, 29 Jun 2009 02:45:00 +00002009-06-28T19:51:35.195-07:00preachinggospelcross An older pastor retired and moved back to his home in rural Mississippi. A few days later, his phone rang. Below is a verbatim transcript of the phone conversation: "You got a King James Bible?" the person asked. "Yep." "Can you sweat?" "Yep." "Got a handkerchief to wipe the sweat?" "Yep." "Then I know a church looking for a preacher." Apparently, those were the http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2009/06/finding-preacher-who-can-sweat.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-933973343489776989Thu, 23 Apr 2009 13:46:00 +00002009-04-23T06:49:48.118-07:00persecutiontobaccosufferingspit Steve Waldrip is a Christian country singer. He gets to sing at all kinds of churches. But one of the most unusual was in Possum Neck, Mississippi, which is just east of West, Mississippi (I'm not making up these towns-- check the map of Attala County!) He knew he was in a country church when they booked a country singer like him for the 11:00 a.m. service. He noticed that the dress was http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2009/04/getting-spitting-in-possum-neck.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-118699324935022855Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:39:00 +00002009-03-09T11:41:57.593-07:00deceptionsnakechurchSatanerror I've heard of the squirrel that got loose in church, and I even saw a bat get loose in church. I've heard of snake handlers, but never before have I heard a story like the one I heard from a pastor's wife in Gulfport, Mississippi. It seems that this preacher's wife was also a preacher's kid. And one day when she was a child, they had a snake visit her father's church. Her father was http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2009/03/day-snake-visited-church.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-7469437227193625360Mon, 16 Feb 2009 16:50:00 +00002009-02-16T08:51:24.669-08:00witnessingvanity plateSolomon said, "Vanity of vanities! All is vanity!" (Ecclesiastes 1:2). But Solomon never got to see vanity tags on automobiles. Jesus told His disciples that they would be His witnesses to the ends of the earth (Acts 1:8). So if a vanity license plate can spark a discussion and share the faith, then I'm sure wise old Solomon would agree. While our cars are "chasing the wind" (Ecclesiastes 1:14)http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2009/02/solomon-said-vanity-of-vanities-all-is.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-7810670410595549911Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:11:00 +00002008-12-01T13:12:25.645-08:00coffeehumormemoryChristmas I was glad to read recently that drinking coffee can help your short-term memory loss. You see, I'm a forgetful, coffee-drinking preacher. Having a bad memory is not good when you are a minister. When I was pastor of Union Baptist Church in Roxie, Mississippi, our treasurer had a car wreck. I went to see her, and before leaving, I offered to pray for her. As I began the prayer, I http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2008/12/coffee-memory-loss-and-christmas.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-193066691293510884Wed, 05 Nov 2008 02:24:00 +00002008-11-04T18:28:13.534-08:00electionspoliticsvoteI heard about a church that called a pastor with a vote of 200-3. The pastor spent his first six months trying to find out the names of the three who voted against him. Then he spent the next six months trying to please those three. At the end of the year, the church voted to fire the pastor. The vote was three to keep him, and 200 to get rid of him! There's an old saying that you can'thttp://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2008/11/divided-vote-eventually-unites-church.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-2743021993751497026Tue, 23 Sep 2008 18:58:00 +00002008-09-23T12:01:50.686-07:00secretshospitaltruthhideuncoversecretprivacy Preachers are often called upon to keep confidential their counseling conversations with the congregation. Many pastors who have been in the ministry for years have come to learn some deep, dark secrets of members that we must take to our graves. But thanks to HIPAA, one of the secrets we used to find out about has been hidden. I'm talking about the real first names of church members. http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2008/09/keeping-your-dark-secret-from-your.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-43246119027308702Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:14:00 +00002008-07-18T13:48:58.983-07:00givingmisersmoneyhumormiserchurch attendance I once had a church member who was a miser. To protect the guilty, I'll call him L.B. Years ago, I was pastor a little rural church in southwest Mississippi. Soon after I came to the church, I began to hear tall tales about L.B., who was a long-time inactive church member. They said he caught rides to work 20 miles away, and would walk home rather than pay for a ride. L.B. lived simplyhttp://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2008/07/pastor-and-miser.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-1852350713065045110Mon, 09 Jun 2008 23:49:00 +00002008-06-09T16:50:47.401-07:00fatherhoodparenthoodteachinghumorparentchildrenfatherFather's Day A father and son were riding home from church, and the boy was filling out a crossword puzzle. The boy said, "How do you spell God?" The father was excited to help in his spiritual development, and gladly replied: "G-O-D," and asked, "Anything else?" The boy said, "Yes, how do you spell "Zilla?" Brian Harbour tells about a little boy who told his dad that he saw a squirrel flattened in the http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2008/06/dads-dead-squirrels-and-teachable.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-1864645103984665599Wed, 28 May 2008 13:22:00 +00002008-05-28T06:23:44.378-07:00gratitudemoneystewardshipGodhttp://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2008/05/how-do-you-slide-your-pie.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-7923125114107613147Tue, 06 May 2008 22:03:00 +00002008-05-07T13:03:20.068-07:00Mother's Daymotherhoodgiftsmother Like many men, I am not a very good gift-giver. I wait until the last minute and run out to Wal-Mart. Or I get a gift that I think she wants, instead of what she really wants. When I was a young husband, I got my wife an iron for her birthday. It's due to God's grace and my wife's patience that we're still married. Some men reading this just asked, "What's so bad about giving her an iron?" http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2008/05/top-10-gifts-not-to-give-on-mothers-day.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-4984070799565439110Tue, 22 Apr 2008 20:26:00 +00002008-04-22T13:28:55.232-07:00Biblecommercializationlifestyle The Wittenburg Door has gathered a strange collection of classified ads for religious products that can take some weird turns. Bible lovers can buy the Red-Letter Edition Bible on audio cassette (maybe it's also available on CD). How do you do that? you ask. According to the manufacturer, "Christ's words are emphasized in heavenly sounds." Download that in your ipod and certainly http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2008/04/how-do-you-put-red-letter-bible-on.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-8125990535971685320Wed, 12 Mar 2008 13:42:00 +00002008-03-12T06:43:51.706-07:00worshipEasterchurch attendance When I was growing up, my father was a chaplain in the U.S. Army. Each Sunday after my Dad preached, I proudly stood by his side at the door as he shook hands with people who were leaving. I would count how many people came out the door, and then give him a report when we got home. I'll never forget the count one Easter at an Army post in Germany. On Palm Sunday I counted 175, but on Easterhttp://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2008/03/worship-now-beat-easter-rush.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-1201388078693555105Wed, 13 Feb 2008 16:14:00 +00002008-02-13T08:15:38.148-08:00romanceValentine's Daylovecommunication It's Valentine's Day, when everybody talks about love. However, some of us fail to communicate. A cake decorator in New Zealand was asked to include the reference to a Bible verse on the couple’s wedding cake. They requested 1 John 4:18 because it states, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear.” Unfortunately, the cake decorator wasn’t a Bible scholar so the cake http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2008/02/song-of-solomon-good-for-valentines-but.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-4692059294972201811Thu, 03 Jan 2008 14:18:00 +00002008-01-03T06:19:43.850-08:00prayerworshipdisorderorderThe Bible teaches that in worship services, there is a proper place for a prayer, a song, or a sermon, but it should be done in an orderly way (1 Corinthians 14:26-33). Disorder can invite disaster. Just as Bubba.“Bubba” (not his real name) loved to pray loud prayers at his church in north Georgia. Whenever he was called upon to pray, his voice rang out with authority and passion as he called http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2008/01/why-bubba-was-on-his-knees-in-front-of.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-2725328916490098780Tue, 18 Dec 2007 20:13:00 +00002007-12-18T12:17:13.858-08:00MarychildrenChristmas Commotion erupted backstage of the church Christmas play when a five-year-0ld girl, who was slated to play Mary, refused to wear anything but her new red dress. The adults backstage pleaded with her, the director spoke to her, and finally her parents talked to her about the need to wear the costume for Mary instead of her new red dress. The little girl would not be moved, and insisted on http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2007/12/would-virgin-mary-have-worn-new-red.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-8139303247444083584Mon, 03 Dec 2007 19:53:00 +00002007-12-03T11:55:12.563-08:00gospelmessageChristmasOne Sunday night a church member eagerly showed me a photograph he had taken on his digital camera of our church sign. I read it and said, "So? It says 'Celebrate Christmas with us.'" He replied, "No, it doesn't. Read it again." That's when I noticed the "R" missing from "Celebrate." I just stared at the photo. "Does it still say that?" "No, we already corrected it. But I'm http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2007/12/oops-did-our-chuch-sign-really-say-that.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-2546692492243988931Wed, 17 Oct 2007 19:43:00 +00002007-10-17T12:44:41.442-07:00directionchurch pewNearly every churchgoer has seen what happens when a person sits in the preferred pew of a longtime church attendee. Generally, if you see a crochet needle and a soft seat cushion on the pew, or the words "In memory of..." engraved in a brass plate, you would be wise to ask an usher before sitting there. But one lady in our church got a completely unexpected greeting when she sat in somebody http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2007/10/danger-of-sitting-on-somebody-elses-pew.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-3798761016695720107Tue, 25 Sep 2007 20:17:00 +00002007-09-25T13:21:20.520-07:00sininfluencechildren Each week I get to tell a Bible story to the four-year-olds at our church Weekday Ministry child care center. And each week I get a reminder that children think differently from adults. Children think literally. One time I heard a little girl say, "Jesus is in my heart." Then she pulled open her shirt, poked her mouth and nose inside her shirt, and yelled, "Hey Jesus, are you down there?" http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2007/09/oh-be-careful-little-mouth-what-you-say.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-571226760626600314Wed, 22 Aug 2007 19:58:00 +00002007-08-22T13:03:07.496-07:00Churches sometimes divide over music. One church divided over the lack of a musical instrument.It seems this particular church had no musical instruments to accompany the singing in the worship service. Some members suggested getting a piano. It came up for a vote at the next business meeting. After much discussion, the matter was put to a vote. About half of the membership voted "No," since theyhttp://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2007/08/out-of-tune-church-argues-over-piano.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-4618568641981680935Wed, 15 Aug 2007 18:10:00 +00002007-08-15T11:19:30.014-07:00Somebody once told my associate pastor that I "don't look like a preacher." That begs the question: what is a preacher supposed to look like? Is he expected to wear a clerical collar, a black robe and have a stern or "holy" expression on his face? Or is he supposed to have a round, pink face and a round body? I've never thought that I wanted to look like a preacher, until I heard Dr. Laurence http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2007/08/lutheran-who-was-glad-he-didnt-look.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1273737731073602430.post-1059042291657229607Sat, 14 Jul 2007 02:19:00 +00002007-07-13T19:29:55.704-07:00humorgospelSometimes churches say things that fail to communicate what they mean.A friend sent me a photograph of a church sign that had on its marquee, "Don't Let Worries Kill You-- Let the Church Help."When I was in college, my pastor was telling a story during his sermon about his visit to the Hoover Dam. As he described his visit, he said, "I looked over the whole dam project." Nobody said a word, but http://holyhumor.blogspot.com/2007/07/dont-let-worries-kill-you.htmlbrotherbob@windstream.net (Dr. Bob Rogers)0